Accidentally In Love
by eStHeR-tHe-ScRiBe
Summary: Sasuke is alone. He's better off alone... right? Why are his suicidal thoughts bringing him closer to Naruto? What is this feeling? Sasuke will finally realize that revenge is not as sweet as love.
1. The NineTailed Understands

**Um, ok. I just want to apologize in advance for procrasinating with all my other stories, but I needed to write this. I promise I'll write more gay fanfictions after I'm done... ok this one still _is_gay, but I'm talking about the cheesy ones... OH SHUT UP! This is dedicated to all the peeps who have read my stories and given me feedback! TANK YOUUUU!.. Yes, I know it's _tank_.**

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_Hate and love are the same thing... they're each a passionate emotion._

Chapter One: The Nine-Tailed Understands...

Sasuke sat on the dock angrily, the sunset displaying golden and pink colors. It's been years since his older brother killed the Uchiha Clan and the pain was still insufferable. He hadn't dared cry ever since that one time when he was escaping Itachi's grasp. All of that energy wasted on sadness and depression instead of vengeance and hatred.... _How could I have been so stupid_? Sasuke thought.

But still, so much sadness was built up behind his guise. Still, people just walked by thinking they knew who he was. Still, his blood ran cold and his face crumpled at the even mention of his brother. Still... there was nothing to live for.

Sasuke's anger died down for a moment and took in this thought. Was there really nothing anymore? Was the world so empty that even vengeance would be pointless and futile? This thought coursed through his head over and over again. Echoing louder and deeper the answer that was ever so clear. So many people thought they knew him and said they could _see where he was coming from_. But they were just being idiots. They didn't have a brother that killed not _just_ his family... he killed everyone in his whole _clan_ other than him. They had no idea what he was going through.

He took out a kunai in curiosity. He traced the tip of the blade with his right index finger. It was very sharp. They were taught to handle it properly so they wouldn't hurt themselves. He added a little more pressure, just enough to make a small puncture. There was barely any pain. What was this suggesting? Before any other moves were made, a voice came from behind him.

"Sasuke!" it was a shrill voice that he recognized easily as the head of his fan club. "Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke stood up irritably. The kunai was hidden back in his pocket. He turned and saw the girl with pink hair and blue Konoha Headband in the middle of it. Her eyes shone brightly with the sun shimmering in her green irises. Hands clapped together in contentment, she stood at the otherside of the dock waiting for him to join her. His footsteps submitted a low thud resonating off the wooden dock. Her eyes brightened even more as his presence wafted towards her, his dark eyes looking out at her emptily. She couldn't be any happier with his mood though.

"Sasuke," Sakura began as he closed the proximity between them, "Don't you think we should eat lunch together? Y'know, to get to know each other!" Sasuke was only a few inches from her side. So much pain built inside... that pain had made a wall that forbade him to really socialize unless necessary. He didn't mind it. He didn't know people, people didn't know him. It was all just a matter of how life is dealt with. He walked past Sakura without so much as a sideways glance.

He didn't bother telling her it was stupid, she's still going to go home tonight wondering what she did wrong. She'd try again later... and nothing would change. He'd still have his thoughts to himself... he'd still be the only to understand the pain he's going through. He will try and bear his loneliness on his own. If all fails... his thoughts returned to the kunai.

He was debating whether or not it was the right thing to do. Of course it wasn't socially right, or what his guardians and teachers would allow to be thought of as correct... but was it true? The only way out of loneliness was to die....

Sasukebolted down the road to the back of the school. He stood with his back against the wall and growled in frustration. A low murmur bubbled from his chest and shook his body. He held his head between his hands and tugged as hard as he could on the roots of his hair. What was happening to him? _Why am I thinking these mad thoughts? What's wrong with me?_ He slid down the wall and felt the chilly air catch up with the dark sky. Everything was cold.

His fingers quivered, enabling them to let loose of the tightly gripped hair. His arms tingled at the damp air that consumed him. His legs froze in place, refusing to let him escape this paranormal decision. Darkness was swallowing him and he could feel it. He pushed away the fears and reached shakily for his kunai. He took it out and held it to his throat. _Make it quick_... he thought. _Be swift..._ he tried coaching himself. The blade was grazing his skin. _Please... just make the pain... _he inched closer. _Go..._ he felt the pressure. _Away..._ Not one tear was shed.

"Oi!" Sasuke's eyes fled open to see the navy blue sky with sparkling stars dotting across it. He looked to his side, and before his mind could understand the situation, someone took his kunai away. "Sasuke! You idiot! Waddya think you're doin? Huh?!" Sasuke's shirt was gripped. His eyes widened. Surprise fled through his body and released his tensed muscles. "You're bleeding," the voice became quieter and more urgent. Sasuke suddenly felt the cold air run even chillier beneath his chin near the end of his neck. He felt it, the slick fluid was dripping hurriedly down his chest. He held his finger up to his face. Red... so red.

"Sasuke," the voice was much more considerate. "Oi, Sasuke, listen to me." Sasuke looked up to the person. He first caught the blonde hair. Blue eyes. Orange pants. White shirt. Sasuke remembered he usually wore a sweatshirt... where did it go? He felt something patch the wound. His eyes widened further. He felt the warm cloth being tied around his neck. "Lucky I'm saving you," he mumbled, "I coulda had a much better life without you." Sasuke could detect the regret in those words. He didn't mean it, and for that he was grateful. "What were you thinking?" The boy kept questioning. Sasuke glanced down at his hands again. _What had I been thinking_? He thought.

"No more pain," Sasuke answered quietly. His breath was visible in the air. The blonde boy sat beside him and breathed out, watching the wasted breath fade.

"Pain?" he began. "Sasuke," here it came, he thought. _Sasuke, I understand what you're going through, but try to bear it._"I have no clue what it feels like to be betrayed or be closely bonded with people and then watch them fall in front of me..." Sasuke was astonished, "and I'm not sure if death really is what you need... but I don't want you to go." Sasuke looked over at him. The blonde was looking at the ground, as if he were embarrassed. Sasuke caught a glimpse of the kunai in front of his feet. Blood stained the grass.

The boy stood up and looked up at the sky, his eyes still averted from Sasuke's. Sasuke stood up too. His chest eased. The swelling and pain and hatred fell just a little. A piece of the interior wall fell.

"Thank you..." Sasuke whispered. The blonde looked back over. Sasuke made a quick glance in his direction, then added, "Now get lost." Naruto's face looked more relaxed. Did he feel it too? The two boys looked at each other. The mixed feelings twirled in the cold air. Naruto glanced once more at his neck. Sasuke became instantly aware of his appearance. He tore the sleeve of the jacket off and gave it to Naruto. "Idiot, you didn't need to do that," Sasuke spit. Naruto laughed.

This feeling... he knew the Kyuubi. Sasuke knew that everyone avoided him at all costs. He knew they were enemies. He knew he destroyed the Konoha Village. He shouldn't be talking so nicely to him. But this feeling... this feeling made all his thoughts swirl in confusion. He sighed and turned his back on him. He just couldn't place the feeling.

"I hate you," Sasuke said ordinarily as he left.

"Hate you, too," Naruto confirmed.


	2. Scars and Hearts

**Ok, so this is my second chapter. I really like this story so I might follow it through. Then I'll prolly finish Junjo, then I'll finish FMA. You people happy? Good! Not only that, but I need to keep up on meh social life too. Anz, anz, anz... this chapter is dedicated to Sarah-Lu (love u) and Gabe. My two best friends. _Gets beat up by other friends_. AND FOR TRISTAN! LEAVE ME ALONE! (OH, and linztheblonde.. whose name I just realized is pronounced lindsay the blonde) Sasuke may seem OOC so don't kill me, cuz I warned you.**

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_I look in the mirror and I loathe what I see,  
Because the person staring back... will always be me._

Chapter Two: Scars and Hearts

"Sa-su-ke!" Sakura called from behind him. He stood there, taking a slight glance back. Her face was bright and happy as usual. He looked away from her just to be tackled by the blonde named Ino. He fell with a huff of displeasure.

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino screeched in his ear. He quickly got up from under her, leaving her on the floor looking like an animal. Sakura got a hold of her before anything else could be done. The girls fought, like every other day. Nothing spectacular was happening. Naruto was even there. He sat at a desk by himself. Sasuke watched as others snickered and laughed at the petty and futile boy. Naruto sat there grinning like a fool, as if he was telling everyone it was true.

_I am a fool_, he could almost hear Naruto say. _I'm an idiot. _Sasuke shrugged the accusation off and sat at another desk. People surrounded him. Girls flustered at his appearance. Sasuke sat there unperturbed. He began to realize how similar him and Naruto really were. Sasuke could see it. The way Naruto walked, the way he acted when people made fun of him, he could see everything. Naruto was just as alone as he was, he just had a different setup.

Naruto was meant to be ignored. Sasuke was meant to be the head of attention. Naruto took in any attention he could grasp. Sasuke tried to get away from everyone. Naruto didn't try to find a way out... Sasuke was still trying. Sasuke didn't notice the people constantly repeating his name as he stared at his desk in thoughtfulness.

"Sasuke," somebody beside him began, "get in a knife fight yesterday?" Sasuke peered over to Kiba with a disgruntled face. What was he talking about? Kiba's eyes glanced to his neck, his face holding a tight smirk.

"No," Sasuke said quickly. He had forgotten about the wound. People started to stare at it. Girls were frantic that their beloved had gotten hurt.

"Who did this to you?" they asked in unison. Sasuke said nothing. It would be unheroic if he said he'd fallen. He'd seem like a coward if he'd said he _had_gotten into a fight and ran away or lost. Telling people the truth would only hurt his reputation. Sasuke's eyes seemed to digress over towards Naruto once again. The blonde was absolutely alone now. Everyone was crowding around Sasuke, asking where he'd gotten the scar. He felt his heart splinter into pieces.

That face that Naruto made... that depressed face with those big blue eyes. He couldn't take it. Sasuke's own pain was momentarily lost as he commiserated for Naruto. He commiserated for the Kyuubi. Sasuke desired to go and sit by him, but he made himself stay planted. Slowly, but surely, Sasuke's emptiness returned with a triple threat. His stomach heaved and tossed in anger, sadness and frustration. His head burned like flames from Hell that desired to force him down into the bubbling darkness. Then his chest pulled over the desk in pain and agony. There was so much pain... Sasuke was getting so tired of it.

He stood up from his desk. Everyone came to a silence. His eyes stayed down at the ground, he had no need to look into the eyes of everyone around him. He hopped back off one of the desks and made his way to the door. No one said anything until he was out of the room. Thirty whispers seemed to sound like a crowd of yelling people in his ear. He walked back towards the back of the school and dashed from there to the dock.

He felt his soul drag behind him as his body pushed heavily forward. The world was closing in on him. He'd forgotten how to dream... how to hope... how to love. He slowed to a stop as he felt the sunset come again. The warmth from the sun's rays spilled over him. The fragile heart that he had been able to conserve all these years started to dissolve with the liquid rays that had fled from his body. He fell on the ground in mental exhaustion. He felt everything dive over the edge.

He took the kunai once more. He put his arm up and sliced down once. It wasn't helpful... not at all, but he felt something. It wasn't relief or happiness... it wasn't pain or anger... it was temptation. He felt desire to do it once more. He did. The blood spilt over his arm like smaller streams. _What's happening to me?_ He thought in remorse. _Why am I doing this?_ He was angry. At himself. At the world. At his brother. There was only one person who spared his rage. Only one person he knew who he could say made him forget about his vexation.

"What the heck!" Sasuke heard someone cry. He quickly tried to hide his arm, afraid of what they might say. His kunai was gone, soiled in the dirt. Someone's presence was by his side. He could tell quickly who it was. His body eased. He looked up at Naruto's disgruntled face. His blue sapphire eyes were shining brightly down at him. Sasuke was glad to see him. "Stop it, Sasuke!" Naruto yelled in aggravation. "This isn't like you, what's wrong?" Sasuke's eyes fled down sullenly.

"Nothing, idiot," Sasuke said painstakingly. Naruto growled and held his shoulders. Sasuke looked up at him surprised. Naruto's face was enraged. Sasuke wasn't afraid of him, not at all, he actually felt bad that he was making him act this way.

"Sasuke, I'm not asking you out of courtesy," Naruto began, "I'm asking you because I care. Tell me what's on your mind." Sasuke couldn't do anything for a moment. The pain fell back over his head with thunder. Rain poured down from the sky, Sasuke made a forced smile as he hid his eyes under his wet hair. Tears fell and rolled down his cheeks. They burned his eyes and his throat constricted, trying not to choke on the lack of air. Naruto's body composition lowered and he became more subtle. He touched Sasuke's face gently and raised it to see his.

"I thought Uchiha's didn't cry..." Naruto said with his common smirk. Sasuke smiled. It was a sad and understanding smile. He didn't know what else to do. He was confused with himself. The world was still caving in on him... but he had his shelter. He had someone to look up to when he was down, he had a person to understand him. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke and pulled him close to his chest. Sasuke's eyes widened for a moment. Naruto was warm. Very warm. His heart beat was audible next to Sasuke's ear. Sasuke's eyes fell closed as he gripped Naruto's shirt.

"Am I going to have to save you _every_ time you try to kill yourself?" Naruto asked jokingly as he stroked Sasuke's drenched hair. Sasuke was too tired to respond. His mind had finally settled down. Everything was beginning to make sense again. He felt as though he was taking advantage of Naruto, having him be his outlet when it came to life. He allowed Naruto to see a side of him that wasn't real in everyone else's eyes... Sasuke reached his head up to Naruto's and made a small smile as he closed his eyes.

"That's all I ask," he whispered. Naruto smiled also and pushed his lips down on Sasuke's. Sasuke didn't understand for another moment. Two boys who loved each other... that was wrong, right? What he really didn't understand was why he kissed back. His hands reached to grab Naruto's shirt so he could stay in place as he made his tongue search for a response. Unfortunately, they needed to breathe. The two boys inched back, gasping for breath. The rain made them stick together. Leaving each other also made their body temperature drop.

"You know," Naruto began, "you don't have to do anything when you're with me. Except," he made a thoughtful face, "maybe... whistle." He glanced down at Sasuke with a smirk, "You knwo how to whistle don't you, Sasuke? You just put your lips together," he traced Sasuke's lips with his index finger and pulled his chin up with his thumb, "and blow..."

**Yea, yea I stole the line from _To Have or Have Not_ but me, Sarah-lu, Gabe, Hafa, Ella, Olivia and Julie all just got done watchin it at  
****Sarah-lu's Halloween Party. SO SPARE ME YOUR EGOZ! Reviews would be nice...**


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